TORIES

MELTDOWN! Snowflakes MELT in Boris’ RED HOT Brexit Britain

A RED-HOT new dawn rose today and leftie SNOWFLAKES across the land melted into a fit of outrage, tears and some even foamed at the mouth as Bonking Brexiteer, Boris Johnson won the Tory leadership race and won his place as Britain’s next PM.

As the country basked in a stunning heat-wave yesterday – the 17.4m who voted for Brexit finally had something to smile about – as this magnificent island nation is finally set to have a true right-wing Brexiteer at the helm of S.S. Brexit Britannia.

He even won praise from President Trump who said that Boris was the ‘British Trump’ and added that ‘he will be great!’.

Mr Johnson won the election by 92,153 votes to Jeremy Hunts 46,656.

Hunt is widely expected to loose his esteemed role as Britain’s foreign secretary after he was accused of ‘dirty tricks’ against rival BoJo.

WHAT NEXT – IRAN 

After appointing his cabinet – expected to be a majority Brexiteer grouping – Boris’ most important challenge will be the Iranian Gulf Crisis that has been in a ‘limbo’ as the UK was essentially ‘rudderless’ with lame duck Theresa May who took THREE days to return to chair a COBRA meeting.

The Iranian Crisis could be Boris’ immediate Carter-Reagan moment – as a hostage situation was solved within hours of Mr Reagan taking office – signalling a positive new start for a nation that had lost confidence with itself.

BREXIT

The next challenge will inevitably be Brexit – Johnson has promised to get the UK out of the EU by October 31st – in 100 days.

BUCKLE UP

We’re giving Boris a chance – as one prominent U.S. Republican said: “Boris Johnson is the Donald Trump of Britain.”

“Put on your seat belt and prepare for a wild ride.He will cut through a lot of the conventional wisdom and the European bureaucrats will find he is much smarter and tougher than his predecessor.”

“Think Margaret Thatcher with wild hair.” added Newt. (We say WILDER hair)… but it’s time to give change a chance.

Strap in! It’s going to be an exciting few years with Boris Incharge.

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